Talk About Anti-Climactic

I finally beat Mario. The original. As Luigi, which I love. I totally rule.

BUT dude! All that happens is an 8 bit princess telling me in type that I've completed my quest and then giving me the same fucking game to beat again, only with those helmet beatle things insteads of the mushroom things. I expected to be done with it and at least get some of those end-of-level fireworks. Shoot.

The External Validation Helps

Something that still makes me so angry about her is all the friendship that we had. It was so much more than friendship, but at the base was such a true and genuine friendship. No, not at the end, it wasn't genuine, but here, now, now that it's over, now that we don't even talk anymore, now that I'm even in a space where it's not only okay to say it's over but it actually feels good over, I still think about her when something reminds me of her. How I wish I still had that friendship. I miss having history. A historical friendship that's so deep I can't plan for and when someone jokes about Nick Hornsby I get it and I know that she'll get it, so I want to write to her about it. Because jokes aren't funny when you have to explain them, at least not ones like this. I miss Ghostbusters and Saturday Night Live and Spanish and Spain and St Louis and pop music and, now, apparently, Nick Hornsby references. She's out of my life, and I'm better for it, but I still feel a little hollow inside when she's the one I want to connect to, and I know I can't.

Girlfriend is starting to get jealous of New Friend and New Friend is starting to act weird, so I just want to go home alone. It may not be Nick Hornsby with them, but I know it'll come. It always comes.

"I hope they never stop. (There's your secret.)"

This is my one hundredth post on this blog. I think that's worth noting. Thanks Blogger!

Happy 2007. I'll be flat out honest and say that while each year I have on this earth seems to just get better and better, I still hope 2007 is better than 2006. (Though, I don't hope too hard: there's a lot wrong with the world, and very little seeming to get any better.)

Sorry to be so dreary. I watched "When The Levees Broke" last night. Then I didn't sleep well. I tossed and turned, I woke myself up by grinding my teeth, and at 6:43 I got up and started to cry. It was the fatigue, and alarm at the time (I thought it was maybe 2 or 3 and couldn't believe I'd lost my whole night), but the movie/real life-related dreams I'm sure didn't help.

I'm feeling better now and I took the morning off to sleep. But still.

Go see the movie. It's your duty as an American citizen and as a fellow human to at the very least witness the horrors and tragedy of so many people just like you and me. Also, I think we all need to be a lot more embarrassed and ashamed at our government and it's absolute lack of empathy, care, understanding, respect...Did you know that when the feds finally did come in (so, so late), all they did was put everyone on a one-way trip to a random city? There was no way home, and there was no way to know where they were going until they got there. Come on. Imagine a tornado/snow storm/earthquake/natural-disaster-for-your-region. Now imagine surviving it, but it destroyed some of your city, and your portion of the city is still being destroyed not from the event, but from the human structures built to protect from it. Now imagine not having food or water for five days, dead bodies all around you, and when you go for supplies the rest of the country calls you criminals. Did you know that Katrina survivors were not allowed to cross into other parishes (the equivalent of counties) by gun point across bridges? The government agencies and workers weren't helping you, they were pointing guns at you to keep you from where life was going on normally. Now imagine the government finally did show up, but all they did was herd you like very-dangerous cattle into gender-divided massive lines (women here, men here, families there, etc) and then put you on planes or buses to wherever they deemed fit. Relatives or friends in Atlanta? Doesn't matter, this bus is going to Houston and you can either get on or get left behind. (With great hesitance, I quote Matthew McConaughey from A Time To Kill: "Now imagine you're white." I know most readers don't have racist pictures in their heads when I try to recount all this, but on the off-chance someone strayed here and thinks they were criminals--as it seems the media would like us to believe--if you can't imagine yourself there, imagine white people, because we're all human and maybe that can make you understand.)

And couldn't they have trusted the people to go to the line of the bus they needed? I'm not particularly good in crisis, so it worries me that I know I would have done so much better.

It's on HBO and on HBO On Demand and for rent. It's hard, but worth it, and oh so important. Maybe don't watch it before bed, or on January 1st though. Makes for a bleak outlook on the year ahead.

Therapy in two days. I don't want to wait any longer.