Breaky Break... how predictable

I guess we all knew I'd make it back here eventually. Well, I did anyway.

It's that time of year. I feel prepared, ready, proud. What a feeling pride can be. How confusing and not like I expected.

I really might not make the Minneapolis team because of those three missed scoring opportunities. Still. I played. I went out there. I did it. It is a lot to face, my biggest dream. I didn't know it would feel so much like my greatest fear, but in this exhilarating way. Different than those other fears.

Well, that was quick. All I really wanted to get out is that I might not make the team. Not because I'm not good enough or didn't try hard enough or whatever, just that I might not. I missed those three shots. One too many touchs on the first break away. "Coach" put it well: 'trust your left foot.' Then the spin off cross. Oh fuck, and the fucking over-the-goal. Pushups Struble. 50-fucking-thousand of them. How dare I?! And at a try-out. Egh. I am disgusted with myself (and letting it go too). Over the goal. Egh.

I don't want to talk to them tomorrow. (Ever again.)