Tummy ache

My computer won't shut down and my stomach's in knots. I don't know who gave it to me, and I don't know if she's worth it. I didn't know a dog could be the boss of me and I'm not sure a future of being her boss is what I want anymore, ever again. She's back in my life, and her, and things with her are confusing. Buddha stops me just at the last second and I never regret it, so I guess that means it's right.

I've been working on following my dreams and now that the hard work is paying off I feel caught up in a whirlwind I wasn't exactly sure would ever really happen. At what point did I commit? Well, I know when, if I'm honest, and it was long ago, and it had every thing to do with the absence of "I'm thinking about" and actually doing. I've been doing.

On that warm in the snow track with heavy footsteps determined behind me; no one knows my resilience. Yes, I think I better run today, and no, I still don't know exactly from what. It gets closer, or farther, depending on how you look at it. It gets better or worse too. All I have is me and it's not my fault, but it's starting to be.