Here is What I Have To Say Today

Shit's good.

Life is giving to me and handing me gifts and working collaboratively with me and shit's good. Shit is good right now.

I got a promotion. I am now, officially, the MU Women's Center Advisor. Y'know that feeling where it's just too easy, or you feel like you're cheating at life or something, because things are working out so well? That's how I feel right now. It's too easy.

Here's a bit of the conversation that just occurred as I turned away from the screen to talk to the real person in front of me. She said: "I love it here. There's always free food and nice people." Yes, yes there is, and now I work here full time. I know it may seem like I always have, but I worked in three other offices too, I just talked about the Women's Center the most. I'm so super excited.

It was True/False Film Festival this weekend. It was great. It was the Columbia I know and love. It's the Columbia I have tattooed as my heart on my chest. It's the Columbia where Patrick and I can go for a walk downtown for hours and hours and barely cover four blocks. We stopped and talked and saw old friends and chatted with newer acquaintances and met new people and laughed and smiled and felt the sun on our faces and backs. We were the queer ambassadors to the out-of-town true/falsers and it's a hard job to look so good and represent, but we were happy to take on the task. It's telling secrets and trying something new and finally not caring who's watching. There was dancing. Again, today, there was dancing. Again, later, tonight, there may be more dancing. Yes, Spring is upon us, and it's not just the weather that's warming.

I stared up at the expanse of the sky with her and we breathed with the world.

I just feel happy. The caffeine I'm sure has worn off, so this energy is genuine and adrenaline and I know life's hard, but damn, shit is really good right now. Spring is just around the corner. The Monologues are over. T/F is over. Women's History Month is under way. We have multitudes of practices for our upcoming Blue Note show (3/19, 8pm, Little Mama's Burly Q Revue). Friends will be here in mere days.

It's a year for hope. It's about Barack, and it's about more than that. Love Is Greater Than Fear, and Acceptance finally happened, so it's time for Acceptance Into Practice.

I got my job, and I had a great weekend, and my friends are happier again, and I have hope. I do. I have hope. I have a desire to see the during, instead of the inevitable end. If I'm going to go so far as deciding not to believe in love, then I may as weel feel it a bit longer in the beginning. I'm caught up, and I don't mind.

I accidentally said "we" and now I won't bring it up, but when I told her I had a dream that she kissed her friend Claire and told me about it, she wanted to know how I reacted, and thought it was cute I was sad about it.

How refreshing to have someone waiting for me to save her, instead of waiting for me to hurt her. How wonderful I can do it back. I'm not quite waiting for her to save me, but I'm not waiting for her to hurt me either. So simple and impossible and who knows how it occurs or when or why or with her and not her and not her and not her and not since the other herher, and who knows how long or why, but I mean it, havehope focusontheduring loveisgreaterthanfear liveitbelieveit acceptanceintopractice it'stheyearforhopeandifeelgoodaboutit JOINME.

Let's just say that I'm happy. That I looked at the stars with tired eyes, and felt a little bit rejuvenated, with it all.

The bad's still out there, and believe me, it's bad, so while the going's good, let's feel it. And today, I want to say to you, shit's good.