(and yes,) it was perhaps the highlight of my day

Alright. I did it. And when you (all of you collectively, god I miss Spanish, cuando usted) read this, don't even pretend to begin to judge me, because if you haven't done it too, then you've wanted to, and really you should respect me for owning up to it.

I read somebody's blog. Somebody's blog whom I know, but maybe not well enough to jump into the past year and a half of her life and read all about any thoughts she may have had and decided to post because...well, who knows why any of us decide to post, except to maybe continue the disassociation. (May I just take a quick parenthetical aside to shout out once again to Nomy Lamm, because damn, she taught me a lot. Not only am I no longer afraid to sing out loud--really, she just cured me of that, in one short lecture as it snowed outside on the first day of Spring--but she also verbalized that life is all just one big disassociation. It is. All of it.)

I took the last hour of work in this shitty week continuing the absolutely awful wedding the-world-hates-gays weekend to just read her blog and be distracted and impressed and feel a little bit better.

I don't think it was necessarily voyeuristic because I was reading because it was good writing and I don't know how many times I've wanted to read a blog and get lost in another's thoughts and writings and life, but gotten annoyed at their racism or sexism or toxicity towards everyone and especially themselves so that I can't even read on, even if it does mean avoiding the fucking Johnny on the Spot requistions staring me down from my inbox.

Wow. Yes. I really have an inbox--how did I get trapped in the comics section of every newspaper known to the world--and I really have to pay the Johnny on the Spot bill and it really sucks and is, if not The, then at least in the top three hardest things I've had to do since getting this grown-up job. It sucks ass. And the irony is so strong it's not even funny, it's painful. It's a joke set up that even stupid people can handle, and truthfully I prefer a little subversiveness. Yes, even in my humor.

And Yes, I'm going to continue the "yes" statements of this post even though it's repetitive, because damnit, it's fun.

And fuck damn, it was raining today when I had to go see my landlord to renew my lease so I had to ride home to get my car which means I parked which means I paid the meter and now it's run out so while I'd like to stay at work and escape and not face the real world that's sucking lately, I already got a TWENTY FUCKING FIVE DOLLAR ticket this morning so I better go.

I said goodbye to Stefania today.

As a closing thought: the water in my apartment better fucking work when I get home, because at lunch, it didn't. And sometimes I get thirsty.

And Yes, it was your blog that I read all day. And it made me feel better. So thanks.