Yes, another letter to another ex

Hello electronic world. Are you out there? (Not that I actually want to know, but isn't it interesting that I write all this stuff and assume that it's read, but wouldn't know except for the occasional complimentary email--thanks again by the way.) It's just such a strange set up we've made for ourselves with these internet lives. I'm not on myspacebookster or any of that stuff, but I do have this and really, what's the difference? I mean, if I had pictures, more people would come, but I'm not sure I want them to. I purposely don't tell many people about this because this really started as a place to put all those emails my friends got tired of reading. Oft-referenced quote directly ahead: Joan Didion once said, "I don't know what I think until I write it down." Strangely, some of my friends got tired of reading through my thought processes, but I still needed to somehow figure out what the fuck I was thinking. So I still wrote it down. And to make it more real, I published it. I put it out in the world for (somewhat) public consumption and I do hope that people read this stuff and I genuinely hope that you all like it.

Anyway. The first post I ever made on this blog was a beautifully written (in my opinion) letter to The Ex. If you haven't read it and are bored, please feel free to go back in the archives. (And a quick note on The Ex. While my psychologist supports me in respecting her privacy and closeted status, she totally called me out on trying to turn her into some sort of literary character rather than real human being who caused (causes?) me pain by always referring to her as The Ex. Yep, even in therapy. My psychologist is so good it pisses me off sometimes. (And who am I kidding with that question mark?))

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Then right here I wrote a paragraph about how I was going to post a letter I had written to Jessa, and then I copied and pasted it, and then I read it over, and I can't post that letter. I can't post it because, unlike the original letter with The (original) Ex, I didn't just write to the letter to Jessa, I actually wrote it for her too. Not that I'm planning on giving it to her, I'm not, but I did write it both to and for her. Not to this internet world. And not for me (which is clearly the case with the other "letter"). It's honest, and if I'm going to respect The Ex's desire to not have me say her name, I'm going to respect Jessa enough to have the words I wrote for and to her truly be to and for her, even if she never receives them.

Have a good weekend everybody.

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOFO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!