i lied

The outside does hurt.

What the fuck was I doing? Toying with fate? "Give me a broken bone" ooooh, lookatme, I'm soooooo tough.

Actually, I'm so sick of being motherfucking injured. I want to be able to take care of myself. I want to do the normal things I do everyday.

I want to ride my bike to work.
I want to open the door for people.
I want to play soccer.
I want to write.
I want to type quickly and without pain.
I want to open the refrigerator door.

Oh, this is stupid. I want a ton of things and I can't have them and I have to just keep being fucking half-useless with this stupid hand and stupid arm and I hate it. And it hurts.

And all the other stuff hurts too and it's harder to take care of it because I can't do any of my normal things (type, ride my bike, play soccer, go for a run, write, write, write...) whinewhinewhine

I know that things could be worse; I know that things could be better too.