thought

Today, as I walked up the stairs, I thought: I don't want to be single anymore. I don't want to be in a relationship. I just want to be together with Her, where I know how to live.

She's all I know. I don't know how I'm supposed to act or what I'm supposed to do or believe. All I'm used to doing is thinking about her and keeping her in mind, or keeping our relationship in mind. Now, it's just me. The world seems so much more confusing.

Stories that I had, I remembered them and thought about them with the goal of telling Her in mind. Planning my evenings and weekends were done with Her in mind. Writing was done with Her reading it in mind.

I'm not saying I don't mind the freedom, especially when it comes to my writing, but life seems so much harder, so many new decisions and situations to deal with. She was comfortable and known, if nothing else.